A few months after Ronnie was born, when she was learning how to stand up, I started playing a game with her I call “Giant Baby!!”

I would lie on my back and hold her standing up on my stomach and have her stomp around like Godzilla, laying waste to an imaginary city. She would lift up her feet and giggle as I made the noises of people running and screaming as their town was razed to the ground.

As an added bonus, Giant Baby had toxic drool that would melt thought anything, even daddy’s t-shirt.

Thankfully, there was only one thing in the world that could stop Giant Baby, and that was a barrage of daddy’s kisses and tickles. Just as the town was on the verge of utter annihilation, daddy would rise up and begin the assault. Giant Baby would scream out in a fit of laughter and be vanquished.

And mommy would be in the background smiling and rolling her eyes that she ever married such a dork.

Work got tough a few months ago, and lately I’ve been staying longer hours, working more on the weekends, just overall devoting more of my time and energy towards my job. I’m thankful for the job I have. It’s allowed me to create a life for my family I otherwise would not have been able to afford.

However, I’ve reached a point where I have a huge decision to make. And I realized it the other day. I was lying on the floor, and my daughter, who can now walk on her own, came running up to me. I picked her up, and realized we hadn’t had a good old game of Giant Baby in a while. So I stood her on my stomach, and saw that now…well, she really is a giant baby.

And I lamented the time I had already lost. That in a brief period of time she had already grown so much, and that while I was there for that time, I was more of an observer than a father.

I might just be a bit sensitive, or being hard on myself, but I don’t want to lose anymore time. In five years, I’m not going to look back and say to myself, “Wow, I just wish I had spent that extra ten hours a week in the office.”

I am making the decision to spend more time at home, and that the time I spend at home is better spent on my family. I am making the decision to be more active and to make my prayer and spiritual life better. Work is work, I can’t let that be my life. It’s not fair to my God, it’s not fair to my wife, it’s not fair to me…

And it’s not fair to my giant baby, who will keep getting more and more giant until one day, she won’t be able to stand on my stomach.

I don’t know if this is depressing, or uplifting.

But it’s cathartic. I sure feel a lot better, and I’m damn sure not missing anymore time with my family.