A funny thing happened today that really helped put me in check.

I’ve always considered myself to be a kind person. I do my best to treat others with dignity and respect. All humans, being made in the Image and Likeness of God, I believe are due that respect and dignity because of the divinity in that blessing, that our Creator so loved us that of all His creatures, we are the most like Him.

That being said, I am human. I am flawed, I falter, and more often than not I fail. Mostly not with my words, though I have said some very cruel things, but in my mind, I can be not just cruel, but down right vicious.

I remind myself to empathize with others. I don’t know the lives of those around me, I don’t know what it is like to live a day in their shoes, to see the world through their eyes and experience their successes and downfalls. I try to empathize, but so often I judge others around me, despite knowing in the back of my mind that I don’t live their lives, that I will only live my own.

Today I was walking into the gas station quick mart to buy a soda. As I crossed the threshold, another guy was walking out. He was horribly skinny, with patchy hair, and deep pockmarks on his face and arms, some freshly scabbed over, some that were old and scarred and will stay with him forever. As we passed, I immediate thought, “Geez, lay off the meth you damned junkie” and other such thoughts that put the man down in my mind.

I grabbed my soda, and walked up to the counter. As the attendant took my money, he called out to another worker on the other side of the store, “Fuck man, did you see that guy? He needs to lay off the meth and get a fucking job or something. It looks like he has scabies and shit.” The other attendant came over to the counter and immediately joined in. In front if me, a complete stranger, these two ruthlessly tore this guy apart. The things I had thought in my mind, were being spoken before me.

And as I walked out of the store, I was filled with a deep shame. A voice in the back of my mind said, “Come on, man, you’re better than that.” I walked to my car, passing the man who started pumping his gas. He had an old, beat up car with the bumper being held onto the body by bungee cords.

Now, I live in Nevada, and we have a serious meth problem. More than likely, was the guy a regular meth user? Probably; he fit the physical description.

But so what? That doesn’t justify my judgement of the man. He did nothing to me. He didn’t harm me or my family, or do anything to ruin my day or my life. I don’t know his life, I don’t know what he’s been through, or what he may be going through right now. He might still be a regular drug user. Hell he could have had scabies.

Or he could have been a man who just recently turned his life around. A man who found the strength inside to kick a nasty habit and get his life together. I will probably never know his story, and I still saw fit to lay my verdict upon him.

But I know that what I thought of the man at first, and what those two guys in the store said, accomplished nothing. None of us were made better people at the expense of that man, none of us are more fulfilled or happier because of what was thought and said. That judgement, the bitterness and the hurtful attitudes did nothing to make this world a more livable place for us or my daughter.

So why did I do it? I honestly can’t say why, but it was an experience that put me in check. It reminded me that I have to constantly work at being kind, not just in deed, but in thought. That life is so precious, but also so spontaneous and unpredictable, that just as I sit here now, next to my wife in bed, with a roof over my head and a full stomach, that it could all be gone just as fast, and that I could just as easily be on the receiving end of those judgements and hateful comments.

It was a reminder that as a father, I have a duty, an obligation to raise my daughter to be a better, kinder person than I am. I look at my daughter, who is sleeping soundly right now, and can’t bear the thought of her acting in a manner such that I did today. I want her to act like the angel she looks like when she sleeps. To accomplish that, I need be an example in action, in heart, and in mind to those around me.

So that maybe one day, we won’t feel the need to put others down, that we will all see the divinity within each person. That instead of judging, we will celebrate each other, and take joy in not just our lives, but in the lives of those around us.